Setting Plans

Austin City Council to spend $4.1 million to convince residents to vote on yet another failed rail system. Not that it takes much to get the typical Austinite to vote to spend money on wasted efforts to look more like Portland or Seattle or San Francisco or whichever left-coast city is the current "new hotness".

I see that my next city council vote is going to look a lot like my last few - vote the incumbents out.

That Wraps Up The Next Election Some More

As I said - freaking morons:

The Austin City Council will formally consider limiting travel to Arizona and terminating any business contracts currently in place with the state. A resolution will be introduced at a May 13 meeting, according to a statement issued today from Councilman Mike Martinez’s office.

Yeah - how dare they enforce the law!

Ordinarily, I would say I truly can't wait to vote against each and every one of these idiots in the next municipal election - except that (a) I know there won't be anyone better to vote for either, and (b) these idiots will all easily win re-election anyway.

Sigh. All I can hope is that the state government manages the regional economy well enough to overcome the local stupidity here in Bezerkely East.

That Wraps Up The Next Election

So, the City Council votes for a (sigh) "green" energy plan that will give us 35% of our energy from green sources in exchange for a minimum 20% increase in our energy rates.

Note: this is the estimate from Austin Energy, the ones trying to sell us on this. They're saying the rates will go up 20%. I'm treating this government estimate like I do most - as a steaming pile of crap. The actual raise will be much much higher.

And what's the benefit? "There's a goal to reduce our carbon footprint by 20% below the 2005 levels by the year 2020."

That's not a benefit, that's a goal. What the heck good does this do for me as an Austin Energy customer?


This is exactly why I never vote for incumbents for Austin City Council. Because they are all freaking morons. If they want to start burning bio-mass, I can think of seven lumps of bio-mass I'm willing to feed in first - Lee Leffingwell, Sheryl Cole, Randi Shade, Laura Morrison, Bill Spelman, Mike Martinez, and Chris Riley.

Austin Needs Puppies!

Had a fairly quiet Christmas break. I brought a couple of books to read, including one from the Austin library. The Cutie, by one of my favorite authors, Donald E. Westlake, as published by one of my favorite publishers, Hard Case Crime.

But while the cases may be hard, the books themselves are not, and so The Cutie fell victim to the wrath of the new Fierce Corgi, Wylie, who fished it out of my luggage and dismembered it.

Amazon tells me that the book sells for $7.00 plus shipping. So I figured the Austin library would charge about ten dollars or so to replace it.

Nope. Seventeen dollars and seventy-four cents. A ten dollar markup for processing.

With the Austin library cutting back on hours due to lack of funds, maybe they should just start importing and distributing puppies to their customers. The resulting processing fees should more than make up the difference.

Austin Radio Actually Improves

For the most part, Austin radio sucks. Massively. And it usually just gets worse. But in the last couple of weeks, it has taken a couple of small steps forward - and one giant step backwards.

First, the good news. KLBJ-AM (NewsTalk 590) and KZNX-AM (1530 AM; ESPN Austin) now have FM repeaters at 99.7 FM and 104.9 FM, respectively. So now both of those stations come in with better FM fidelity than before, and if that rumored FM iPod upgrade comes through, I'll be able to listen to those stations on my iPod as well.

Next, the bad news. I mentioned in an earlier post about the worst radio show I think I have ever heard not named The Alex Jones Show. It's the Charlie Hodge Rock'N'Roll Halftime Show. KLBJ-FM took the sidekick from its morning show and gave him an hour at lunch to do very lame skits, chat constantly about "Cougars", do stunts like Homeless Karaoke, and basically annoy the hell out of me. Well, the management has apparently decided that the experiment worked, because they've now given him four hours instead, from 10am until 2pm. During this show, they do fewer songs than usual, so as to give more time for that special Charlie Hodge brand of "humor".

So now, KLBJ basically has few to no songs playing from 6am until 2pm every weekday. It's almost like they are the MTV of Austin radio - just basically giving up on music. Just another reason for me to stay far away from that frequency.

If You Don't Like The Weather, Just Wait Three Months

Normally, the first few Longhorn football games are characterized by hot, humid weather, even into October. So imagine my surprise when I check the forecast for this weekend's first game:


A high of 90 degrees? Yeah, I know - that sounds hot. But after three straight months of 100-105, 90 degrees sounds like downright chilly conditions.

I Had Almost Forgotten

Oh right, I was going to head down to Highland Mall on Saturday and shop around a bit.

Thanks for reminding me, Austin NAACP!

I Think I'll Stay Home

Via News 8 Austin:

Highland Mall will close at 2 p.m. Saturday.

The mall’s general manager issued a statement Thursday saying the mall does not have the necessary security to manage the large crowds expected this weekend with the Texas Relays in town.

In addition, the release stated the closure is because “the safety and security of shoppers and retailers is top priority.”

Ummm....what?

The crowds are too big for the mall to handle - during a track meet?

Yes, yes, I know - the Texas Relays are a big deal. Lots of people in town. But still, I don't remember Highland Mall closing down during, say, the day after Thanksgiving, or the weekend before Christmas. Surely they have more shoppers then than they would during the Texas Relays?

I wonder what the rationale could possibly be....something about this particular crowd?

Another Little Push

In practice, Time Warner's decision to look at metering cable internet access in Austin doesn't make a whole lot of difference to me. I'd already put AT&T Uverse on my "to-look-at" list for when I get an HDTV (which should be soon - I'm seeing TV's starting to show up at my desired price-vs-features spot).

Right now, I'm paying about $160/month for local phone, DirecTV standard-def service with Tivo, and Earthlink cable internet service. HDTV would be extra on top of that, and long-distance phone is also (although most of my long-distance calls these days are done on my mobile). I haven't been able to fully price things out, but it looks like Uverse would get me local and long-distance phone, faster internet service, and HDTV service with more channels (including Showtime/TMC/Encore, for what it's worth) for somewhere around $140/month.

Unfortunately, Uverse is not available in my neighborhood in Austin. I'm in some kind of AT&T black hole here (if I may be racist for a moment) - my area was also late getting DSL service, although that's now available. But soon enough it will be here.

And thanks to Time Warner's latest move, that switch to Uverse has jumped from a 90% probability to a 95% probability.

Will Wynn Are "Smart"

Here's one reason why I don't plan on voting for any incumbants on the Austin City Council again this year. Because no matter how intelligent they may sound going into office, they end up doing stupid things like having their employees drive around in golf carts with delusions of grandeur.

You know, to save the environment. Or something.

Maybe I should put a positive spin on this. Let's see...

At least they didn't buy a fleet of Segways!

And we won't have to see them around after they start disappearing into potholes!

You know, guys, one of the tasks the city government is actually supposed to handle?

Oh, and Mayor Will Gore, err, Wynn? Please leave sooner rather than later. Thanks!

....Just Wait A While

Yesterday - mid 70's, windy and cloudy

This morning - mid 60's, unsettled with showers

This afternoon - mid 70's, sunny and windy

Tonight - low 30's, rain, thunder and sleet

If you don't like the weather in Austin....

Austin Pays UT To Study Liars

Well, that's not exactly how it was put, but that's the net effect:

Most of the people you see holding signs at corner just want to work, according to a study conducted for the City of Austin by researchers at the University of Texas. UT Researcher Laura Lein and her staff interviewed omore than 100 people soliciting money and food at street corners in Austin.

What they found was a drive to get back to work among almost all of them.

Ahem. Bullshit. I don't believe that for a second.

But researchers also found that there are significant barriers to achieving that goal.

Yep - the fact that it is easier for them to continue their "urban outdoorsman" lifestyle than to get a job.

"Over half had some kind of health condition or other problem that was preventing them from doing at least some kinds of jobs," Dr. Lein said.

Lein says that is especially bad, considering many of them used to do physical outdoor labor but couldn’t anymore because of their physical problems. She says some also didn’t have the basic tools to get a job, including a photo ID, and no real way to get one.

Really? The reason these people don't have jobs is because they can't get a photo ID?

Really?

Please - the reason these people don't have jobs is because they don't want one. At least, not the kind they are qualified to hold. But between government, non-government and casual (ie. people giving them money at street corners) sources of charity, it's just easier for them to stand around outside for a few hours than to actually pull themselves together, get a shower, and find a freaking job.

Are there people that truly can't do for themselves? Sure there are - but you don't typically find them pacing up and down medians during red lights. They are invalids at home, or in shelters. If you can drag your body down to the I-35 service road, you can find somewhere to push a broom. Or, God forbid, actually see about improving your skill set to get a better job somewhere.

There - that's my heartless conservative bastard moment for the day.

Via KLBJ-AM.

Un-Super-Size Me

Via the Statesman comes word that Wal-Mart has decided to scale back their planned development at Northcross Mall, taking off one proposed story and dropping sections like grocery, gardening and auto. This was apparently an internal decision at Wal-Mart - certainly none of the various legal barricades that had been thrown up had managed to pass muster.

Responsible [sic] Growth For Austin is of course declaring partial victory:

"We're happy to see this step in the right direction," said Hope Morrison, president of Responsible Growth for Northcross. "It's a better fit for the area and precludes the need for continuing legal action."

Emphasis mine. Now we'll get a chance to see what the issue really was all about. My hunch is that this wasn't about size or traffic at all - it was primarily the vocal libs in the area unhappy about seeing the hated Wal-Mart show up in their area. I believe that if the same exact store had been proposed, but it was proposed by Whole Foods, for example, there would been much less outcry.

But now that Wal-Mart has met the opposition more than half-way, any reasonable rationale for protest has gone away. So, if we continue to see those "No To Wal-Mart" signs up, then we'll know that the neighborhood really defines "responsible" as "anything but Wal-Mart".

No, Really - That's Her Name

Via KLBJ-AM comes word of a survey of Austin library workers. Apparently, less than fifty percent of them feel "safe" at work.

I've been to several different library branches around the city, and I have noticed some differences. There are some, like the Milwood branch closest to me, that are in a standalone building with open parking, and tables and statues outside. Then there are others that are located inside other buildings (and so have two levels of locked doors to get through), and at least one that is surrounded by a barbed-wire fence that is locked at night.

So I can see where workers in some areas might feel unsafe.

My solution would be simple: at those branches where workers report security issues, post a police officer by the door. Leave him there for three months. If problems persist, close the branch down. Well, maybe leave it open from say, 3-6 PM for after-school use by kids, but if the kids are the problem, then just close it down completely. Libraries are a privilege, not a right, and if your neighborhood can not handle having nice things, then no nice things shall you have.

However, I didn't link to this story to rant about Austin neighborhoods. No, I linked to it because of the name of the Austin Director of Libraries.

Brenda Branch.

Hah - who says this city doesn't have a sense of humor?

Austin City Council Endorsements

And now the first quasi-annual A Site To Be Named Later Endorsements for the upcoming Austin city council elections.

We begin with the process of elimination. First, I automatically remove from consideration any incumbents, unless they have specifically done something positive to prove to me they aren't an idiot. I generally just assume any person who makes it to the city council immediately loses 20 IQ points upon taking the oath, and then gets another 10-20 points drummed out of them over the course of their first term. I don't particularly remember any positive Lee Leffingwell stories, and that plucky little Jennifer Kim has proven to be a moron on a number of occasions, so they are both out. Betty Dunkerley is not running in Place 4.

Second, I remove anyone endorsed by the Austin Chronicle. The Comical is a pretty fair distillation of the local moonbattery, so anyone they think would be a good choice has got to be looked at with suspicion. Anyone they discount for pro-business or pro-sanity reasons gets an upgrade. This year, they have endorsed Lee Leffingwell, and have positive things to say about the other two candidates. One of them is the former spokesman for the drooling moonbats at Responsible Growth [sic] for Northcross, the group that tried to levitate Northcross Mall and the Austin City Hall. With their minds.

So basically, no endorsement for Place 1.

For Place 3, they endorse...no one. Hey, that's my shtick! No help there.

For Place 4, they endorse Laura Morrison, so she's out. Robin Cravey is described by the Comical as an "attorney-poet" and "environmental activist" - oooh, that's what I want looking after my taxes. They have some lukewarm things to say about Cid Galindo, but not enough to automatically mark him off.

So now, I have to actually look at the remaining candidates.

For Place 3, we have left Randi Shade and Ken Weiss. Ken Weiss appears to be the newcomer here, with National Guard and small business experience; while Shade is the more politico of the two. Not a big fan of Shade's moratorium on nuclear power, but she does claim (at least claim) to oppose conversion of existing roads to toll roads. I'm going to give it to Shade here, but just by a Shade.

For Place 4, we have left Cid Galindo, Ken Vasseau, Sam Osemene, and the human enigma that is Jennifer [sic] Gale. Ken Vasseau and Sam Osemene essentially have no web presence, so I can't particularly tell anything about their positions. By contrast, I know more about Jennifer Gale than I want to - please make it go away. Cid Galindo's main proposal seems to be to encourage development in specific "town centers", many of which are located in East Austin. This is, at least on the surface, a great idea - there's so much open space out east that just isn't being used. So wow, I may actually have a candidate I can be a little optimistic about.

So there you are:

Place 1 - no endorsement
Place 3 - Randi Shade
Place 4 - Cid Galindo

Oh, and by the way, I'm opposed to all of the school bond propositions. Although AISD is finally doing something I can get behind - namely, talking about closing down low-performing schools -I'm not quite prepared to reward them with more money. I have no illusions, though - in this tax-happy city, all proposals will easily pass.

Random Radio Thoughts

When Erin Hogan left KVET-AM in the morning, I knew there would be some problems. Erin and Bucky had a good thing going on their morning sports show - the fact that they were able to do a five-hour drive-time show and keep it full most days shows that they were good at the game. But Erin was the "radio" guy, and Bucky just couldn't keep the thing going by himself. So he was going to need a new full-time radio partner.

But the decision to pair him up with KVET-FM's Bob Cole seems like a mismatch. I haven't been listening religiously to the new show, partly because I'm just not a fan of Cole, period. But today's introduction, with a "spotlight on the music of Willie Nelson", demonstrates why I'm not getting the new show. I didn't want a local talk/music show, I wanted a good local sports show. And when I think of Bucky Goldboldt, I don't usually think of Willie Nelson music.

Having said that, Bucky and Bob is still miles better than the aural abortion that is the Charlie Hodge Halftime Show on KLBJ-FM. I don't think I've heard anything more painful to listen to than Hodge interacting with the brain-dead callers he seems to attract, and that includes (Dead) Air America. Good Lord, is it bad.

So, in other words, Austin radio has gotten even worse than before. I hadn't thought it was possible. Maybe this explains why I've gotten more into downloading podcast shows from other cities (such as Tony Kornheiser, and I'm giving Adam Corolla a shot as well).

Actual Responsible Growth

Being out of town for most of the last two weeks, I hadn't seen that the circle-jerking morons at Responsible Growth For Northcross (sic) lost their latest legal argument attempting to stop a property owner from developing their property within the legal and zoning constraints in place at the time they published their development plan.

Well, at least they tried to act like adults and sought relief in court. Probably better than trying to levitate the mall with their minds.

But now that they've lost, they will no doubt be back to the usual lefty tactics of human chains, shouting crowds at City Hall and (if we're lucky) large papier-mache heads. In the meantime, construction can now actually get started. Hallelujah - this is the best way to get people back to the black hole that is currently Northcross Mausoleum, err, Mall.

Things To Come

So, Austin mayor Will Gore, err, Wynn had a little run-in with a construction truck operating during rush hour downtown. Apparently, the truck was blocking traffic and inconvenienced hizzonor.

A Question: what exactly does he think will happen when he quintuples the number of people living downtown? As downtown loft construction continues? Does he think those people just magically appear with no kind of support vehicles? What about more garbage trucks? More grocery store deliveries? Deliveries to all of that "street-level retail"? Oh, and not to mention his wonderful new trolley system - that probably won't block up any streets.

Mayor, the net result of your proposals may be a little less congestion on the freeways, but there will be a lot more congestion downtown. Get used to this kind of delay, because there will just be more of it as we continue down your Golden Path.

Is Our Children Hugging?

Apparently a middle school in Kyle has decided to ban hugging in the hallways. Not because of innappropriate "public displays of affection" (and not a sight of ABC News in the area). No, the problem is congestion.

Not the nasal type. The logistics type.

Yes, the school officials decided that all of the hugging going on in the hallways was blocking traffic too much, and that students were showing up late for class because they couldn't reach their classrooms in time.

Really. This is the excuse they are giving. Presumably with straight faces.

Well, we already have a solution for this here in Central Texas. If there is a congestion problem on the roads, we simply build a toll road and the problem is magically solved.

(It must be magically solved - there don't seem to be any other plans in place except for the commuter rail line that will carry upwards of a few hundred people a day to downtown.)

So, all they need to do is rope off part of the hallway as a special tolled "hugging-allowed" lane. Pay an extra $1 a day, and you can hug your BFF until your arms fall off. Plus it forms an extra revenue stream for the school. It's a win-win.

Oh Good, Another Proposal

For the love of God, someone stop him before he proposes again:

Austin Mayor Will Wynn today will call for a November 2008 election to build a Central Austin passenger rail system connecting the airport, downtown and the University of Texas, along with the Triangle and Mueller developments in near North Austin.

Because that's what we need - another dysfunctional transit system to go along with CAMPO, Cap Metro, etc.

Unlike the current commuter rail project, which Capital Metro is building with its own, diminishing resources, Wynn will propose creating a task force of several jurisdictions to work out plans for the city and other governmental entities — and possibly developers and private companies — to pay for the project. This could include, Austin City Council Member Brewster McCracken says, selling bonds to be paid back with general city tax revenue as well as profits from Austin-Bergstrom International Airport.

Remember, if you really want to waste money, you're going to need several jurisdictions working together.

Wynn said he would hope to avoid using general obligation debt, which would require a property tax increase.

You mean, besides the tax and fee increase you've already pushed through as part of your "green building" boondoggle?

"I'm going to try to build the case that now folks, we have to begin the next and obvious phase of our desperately needed comprehensive transportation system," Wynn said. "It should be our goal to do it with no new taxes."

You just got through saying you are going to fund it with Airport money and bonds. Where do you think the money used to replace the funds spent on this thing will come from? This is already a tax increase, you moron.

Wynn said he hopes that the task force could conclude its business within six months, allowing the beginning of a rail election campaign by the summer.

Not to mention the money for this - spending my money to convince me to waste more of my money.

Selling bonds would require permission of City of Austin voters (or Travis County voters, if commissioners decided to throw in some borrowed money as well), and Capital Metro under state law cannot build and operate additional lines without voter approval. This could mean simultaneous elections by the two sets of mostly the same voters, McCracken said, one to borrow the money and the other to allow the project.

So we will probably have the best of all possible worlds - we will vote to have the system, but not to pay for it. Oh, who am I kidding - the people of this town have proven time and again they will vote for any new expenditure put before them.

No one knows what this would cost at this point.

Yeah - no shit.

Capital Metro in 2006 proposed spending about $230 million to build a streetcar line from downtown to Mueller; the agency has revised that cost downward to $210.4 million. But what the mayor is discussing would be much more extensive, including a spur to the Triangle and a several mile run out to the airport that would have to include crossings of Interstate 35, Texas 71 and U.S. 183.

McCracken, in fact, has another extension in mind, this one to Zilker Park.

If there's one bozo on the council I hate more than Wynn, it's McCracken and his half-baked city planning schemes. Oh, and little Jennifer Kim, who just decided she didn't mean to upset the panhandlers, and is willing to pay them more of my money to prove it.

Look, here's a simple idea. You want to move people around from downtown to Meuller or the Triange or wherever, here's a brilliant idea - RUN A BUS LINE THERE. What is more likely is that you already do, and PEOPLE AREN'T USING THEM. You think shiny new streetcars will be more trendy than buses, so people will start using them. What will happen is some people will switch from buses to streetcars, but no additional traffic, and then you will be stuck with a streetcar route that cannot be changed.

Look guys, I know you council folks have a severe case of San Francisco envy - you're still steaming over the fact they thought of banning plastic bags before you did. I'm not particularly interested in living in San Francisco, or Seattle, or Portland or whatever other West Coast shithole city you think we should be turning into. You like it so much, fucking move there yourself.