Movie Review: Star Trek: Insurrection

Just about the definition of Trek mediocrity. A plotline that would barely fill out an hour-long episode of the TV series, stretched out to an hour-and-a-half, with the main difference being a widescreen presentation and an increasingly bloated cast. I swear I though this movie was set on a planet with low atmospheric pressure or something, with Burton, Frakes, Dorn and (unfortunately, since he's playing an unaging android) Spiner all showing signs of Spandex Expansion Syndrome.

Apparently in an effort to counter somewhat more grim Star Trek: First Contact entry that preceded it, Insurrection is probably the jokiest movie in the Trek series. Too bad none of them are funny. Worf gets his share of puberty jokes, but Data ends up playing the Joke-a-Matic 3000 with such groaners as "In the event of a water landing, I have been designed to act as a floatation device." Not to mention his apparent misunderstanding of the term "boobs" - is this the same android that described himself as "fully-functional" back in Season One?

Let's review:

• Scotty talking into a mouse in Trek IV = amusing
  
• Scotty walking into a beam in Trek V = sad
  
• Data's Mr. Tricorder act in Trek VII = mildly amusing
  
• Data asking about his boobs in Trek IX = embarassing
  

The Next Generation never really hit their stride movie-wise the same way they did during the middle few seasons on TV. We'll have to see next year what J.J. Abrams and crew are able to bring to the table - hopefully they can pull off a Batman Begins-style rejuvenation of the series. As for Insurrection, two stars.