Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Movie Review: Black Dragon

Finally, another Jackie Chan movie. Sadly, not one to actively recommend. This is another attempt by Jackie to expand outside of his typical comfort zone and venture into other genres - in this case, a romantic comedy set in a 30s gangster period. It's mostly plot work rather than action, and most of the plot doesn't really make a lot of sense. Jackie plays a country bumpkin who shows up in Hong Kong and gets caught up in a gang battle. As a result, he is inexplicably named the leader of one of the leading gangs when its current leader is killed. And for some reason, the gang decides to go along with this. He decides to try to get out of illegal activities, and instead has the gang run a nightclub. And for some reason, the gang decides to go along with this. And then, he calls on them to help an old lady trick her daughter, her daughter's fiance, and the fiance's rich father that she is really rich. And for some reason, the gang decides to go along with this.

It doesn't really make much sense.

Action-wise, there is only one meaningful scene. It's quite good - it's set in a rope factory, and anyone with any experience with Jackie Chan can imaging the setups to be found in a rope factory. But that's really about it, and it feels kind of shoehorned in, as if Jackie would rather have left it out and done a "pure" comedy film.

Jackie directed as well, and does quite well in the look and design. And it's nice to see Bill Tung in a role other than Jackie's boss - he does very well with his charming con man role. But other than that, this one's really for completists only. Two stars. Next up on the Jackie Chan schedule - we're skipping over The Prisoner in favor of Operation Condor.

Monday, December 14, 2009

One Of These Things...

..is not like the others.

AC/DC. Aerosmith. Metallica. The Beatles. Green Day.

Wait, what?

That's the next band we'll be mashing buttons on plastic guitars to? Green Day? I'm pretty sure I can come up with a dozen bands easily that would merit a full title to themselves before I ever thought of Green Day. Not all of them would want to be immortalized in such a way, but after getting the remaining members of The Beatles to agree to work with you, the next band you went after was Green Day? They barely have enough songs (IMO) for a download pack, much less an entire game.

Give me a call when you get Led Zep to sign on the dotted line.

Bah, Humbug

Been trying to listen to "Majic 95.5" Christmas music. Unfortunately, they have about one day's worth of music, so getting the repeats over and over again is causing some of the "majic" to go away.

Anyway, I've about decided that my three least favorite Christmas songs are:

3. John Lennon and Yoko Ono, "Happy Christmas (War Is Over)" : Yeah, this is what I want to hear for Christmas - the screeching voice of Yoko informing me that war is over, if I want it. Hmmm, what about the other guys - do they want it too?

2. Bruce Springsteen, "Merry Christmas Baby" : Mostly because I just really hate Springsteen, and this version is done up as so much a prototypical Springsteen number, it's practically a parody.

1. The Beach Boys, "Little Saint Nick" : Primarily for the worst line in a Christmas song - "Christmas comes this time each year". Oh, really? You mean in late December? Genius.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Back Up The Waaaaahmbulance

Look, I recognize it was a tough loss. I was just about throwing my remote through the TV screen during much of that fourth quarter. But I'm Joe Nobody at home watching a game, and you are the head coach and defensive coordinator of a major NCAA football program, so this isn't just embarrassing, it's plain sad:

“You should be ashamed to accept that trophy!” the NU defensive coordinator yelled, pointing at the Longhorns.

“BCS!” Pelini said as he entered the locker room. “That's why they make that call!”

“I want an explanation!” Pelini yelled outside his locker room.

From outside the doors, one word could be heard loudest: “Cheaters!”

Beebe suggested he and Pelini talk in private. They walked into a quiet area near some shiny SUVs, 100 feet from anyone else. Yet Bo and the occasional curse word could still be heard.

Suck it up, losers. Mack Brown complained mightily when we got screwed over last year, but I don't recall him soiling his diapers while throwing a massive tantrum.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Well, Yeah

Once you see it, it's obvious. Why haven't I seen this already?

An electrical outlet with built-in USB charging jacks.