Semi-liveblogging 24 season finale

Sorry, no clocks - what do think this is, an episode of 24?

• "We're going to implant a tracker in you. The last guy we did this to chopped off his arm, so we're implanting this one directly into your balls."
• Least popular job at CTU - the guy driving a captured Jack Bauer back to CTU.
• OK - we've got about an hour and a half left - let's bring Milo's brother in for...what reason, exactly?
• What a stupid plan - what's to keep these guys from storming the beach, shooting Doyle and grabbing the kid? This isn't exactly Normandy!
• And sure enough - Doyle is down. What a bunch of idiots.
• They can short out the tracker? Too bad nobody told the Russian from earlier....
• Jack just passed up two perfectly good opportunities to say "we don't have enough time!".
• "Life takes faster money. Life takes Visa." - Life takes faster money? Since when?
• Blinded - maybe little Ricky won't be back next season after all.
• This music as we approach the oil platform - I'm getting some nasty Batman Forever vibes here. That's not good.
• The fate of the world depends on Chloe's mad SQL skillz. Uh oh.
• That's the hour-ending cliffhanger? Chloe fainting? Sigh.
• Hour number two - this plan isn't any better. Don't they need to prove the device is gone? How will an aerial strike do that? Couldn't they just blow up any old platform and accomplish the same thing?
• Second least popular job at CTU - the guy flying a captured Jack Bauer back to CTU.
• Why again are the Russians attacking an American base? If they are just moving into position to defend against China, why not just have them work with us co-operatively?
• Oh, and it takes thirty minutes to strike a platform a few miles off of the California coast? Riiiiiight.
• "I wish you luck, Mr. Vice President." What - luck to strike a stationary target in American waters? Feh.
• Hmm....maybe they are going to reenact the end of Patriot Games?
• "You are clear to land." Heh - Jack as a flight control officer - "I'm requesting permission to takeoff." "YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO TAKEOFF!!!!"
• Jack Bauer In The Box - "Trust me, you're going to order the Cibatta, it's just a question of how long it's going to take."
• Why do they keep showing shots of Chloe - resting comfortably?
• Didn't Papa Bauer hear the explosions on the roof? That wasn't exactly a stealth entry.
• OK - shoot him. Shoot Him. SHOOT HIM.
  
• Nice. Better than Kim shooting Psycho Dad with the Jack remote control back in season....two?
• So....where's the magic chip again? Why didn't Jack ask for that? (Or did Chang have it?)
  
• Oh no - unfurling a ladder? He's going Die Hard instead of Patriot Games?
• Well, they certainly made a big explosion. Almost as good as the aerial strike from season...uhhh, was that season four?
• "Jack's not ready to go back yet." Umm...huh? What business can he accomplish in twenty minutes by himself on a deserted beach?
  
• Well - off to dog school. Pick this up again later.
• Just got through. I guess the goodbye to Audrey was OK, but as with many parts of this season, we've seen Jack break down at the end of a "day" before. Last time, he quit CTU for an office job, which is where he met Audrey in the first place. I had a little bit of wonder when they showed Jack walking outside - with his gun drawn. But Sutherland is signed on for two more years, so clearly nothing permanent was going to happen.
• And Chloe is pregnant. Hmmm.
• So what was up with Milo's brother?

In the end, an OK closing episode, but nothing great. Just kind of went from where it was set up with a minimum amount of fuss. But nowhere near the greats of Jack's wife being killed or Chase's wrist chop, or even Jack walking off into the sunset. The production team has some work ahead of them.

Of course, it goes without saying that I'll still be watching. I'm pretty sad that way.